CHRISTMAS IS COMING

Hee hee he.
Me and me mates have been sampling a few brews - just getting into practice for Christmas.
Hee hee he.

THE CURMUDGEON sent out a memo about posting Christmas songs. It was a bit over me head mate so I did the unmentionable with it (and that wasn't over me head hee hee he).

I've been watching what songs the Curmudgeon jokers have been posting and some of them are a bit naff but there have been some good ones. I like the rude ones and I've got one here that my mum sent me.

FROSTY THE PERVERT

TURNING OFF AND DROPPING IN

Well I've finally come to this - joining up with the establishment.
I'm tired of living off handouts and being the butt of jokes around my neighbourhood. It's not as if the neighbours are anything to write home about and when they do they misspell things - ha ha.

The breweries stopped sending me free clobber a while back. I protested by not wearing anything at all but it got too bloody cold after a while - the downside of living at the bottom of the North Island.
Old mate Noel gave me an army greatcoat to wear but it was a bit manky so I threw it in the tip. Then old mate Noel gave me another greatcoat to wear a week later. What a coincidence!

I need to find a bit of respectability so I'm chucking my hat in with the expanding CURMUDGEONS INC. blogs. They look pretty successful and I might be able to get a hat and tee-shirt out of them.



I've made an approach and am awaiting a call up.

Beudy eh?

HEY GIVE ME A UNIFORM AND I'LL SING

I've never been too proud to not fly me true colours.
I used to be a Lion Red kinda guy and when they gave me t shirts, shorts and the odd hat I'd wear them with pride mate.

Admittedly I had to buy a lot of their suds to get the clobber but .... it was appreciated.

Over the years I found that I didn't like the taste of Lion Red, it got to be a bit expensive compered to me old mate Rob's home brew and the bastards stopped shouting me the gear. What was I to do?

My previous benefactor the Social Welfare got taken over by some greasy Auckland woman who pretended to be one of us. Pretty bloody soon it was obvious that she was tilting her cap at the top jobs in parmy and, I tell ya this floored me, that joker Key, you know the one, the smarmy one who gets off on pulling little girls ponytails - he seems to think the sun shines out of her arse. Must be short sighted but then her arse is big enough. Anyway her company used to see me right but lately I'm finding it hard to make the ends meet.

It was OK when I used to flat with my old mates Noel and Colin but Noel got bloody married and left and Colin's laugh, when it was just me there was too much to handle. Life's too short mate. I guess I'm lucky that I live in 'The Valley' as those tossers in Wellington haven't come out here yet and pushed the prices up and definitely I'm lucky I don't live up in Auckers where I hear 3 or more families have to share a house just to afford the rent but ....

I just can't make ends meet.

Recently I was given a hand out by a Sally Army bird. Sister Gloria was her name but I just call her bloody Glorious mate. Cracker. Think about her but haven't seen her around recent though.
Some other jokers from the army've been around and given me some things - a bit of dosh, some bread and cheese and veges - no fags or beer though - bummer. anyway they've done alright by me and I'll wear a bloody black and red cap for them as long as they don't tell me to put trousers on.

See ya.

IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE .....GIMME SOME

I rolled along to the Bluegrass Society on Friday night to see some music.
There was a bunch of old geezers playing which would have been OK but they played a whole lot of weird stuff.

I was hoping for some good old Willie Nelson and Earl Scruggs tunes but was disappointed.

I thought I'd have a beer while I was there but all they had was that nancy craft beer and wine.

Bugger!

IT'S NOT THE BLOODY SAME MATE

I used to enjoy going over the hill to the Nuova Lazio mall.
It was my kinda place mate. Know what I mean.
I'm not one of those guys who likes a lot of flash.
I would never go into Kirk's in Lambton Quay even if they'd have me.
Nope, Nuova Lazio mall was me I reckon.
Particularly after all the ponces and yuppies moved into Petone and the old familiar shops tarted thems elves up (and increased prices).
Bums!

Anyway I used to enjoy going over the hill to the Nuova Lazio mall.
But now it's changed.
It doesn't feel safe anymore.
And it's dirty. Well, dirtier.
I reckon it's got something to do with that joker who used to stand around wearing the uniform not being there now.

 You know the one. Thought he was a cop or something. certainly no Arnie but he believed it. Carried around a walkie-talkie in one hand and a mop in the other. Weird I know but the little punks who roam the malls must have had some respect for him. Either that or they thought he was a nutter and gave him a wide berth.

Now they're back intimidating everyone.
Bums!

SEVENS. BEUDY!

One of the good things about living in Wellington is that it's the only city in Nu Zild that has the Sevens.

This is good for fellers because the girlies get a bit loose at this time. Know what I mean.

Well, ya'd have to be a bit hopeless not to get a root at the Sevens or in town afterwards would'y ya.

Didn't get lucky tonight mind but tomorras the big day.

SUMMER. BEUDY.

Yeah Summer's here.

No work. Lots of sunshine. Time for recreation ....... or to drink lots of beer.

Truth is I do this during the year as well but in Summer I can do it with my shirt off.