I don't like parties. A party is invariably organised by a woman or a gay guy. They want you to dress up, bring some food or drink that you are not supposed to eat/drink yourself, wipe your feet, sit in uncomfortable chairs in a living room while trying not to drop tomato sauce (not ketchup) on the furnishings. No. Bugger that. I prefer to just go around to a mate's place, park my crate at the back door and stand there enjoying my beer. You don't have to say anything and you can have a good old fart, a scratch or a smoke without anyone getting all nancy about it.
No. I don't like parties.
